Top 10 songs to get you strong after a divorce

Broken up and, well, broken up? Healing from a broken relationship is hard, no matter how long you were together. One of the best ways to heal from a divorce is to immerse yourself in good music. 

And while Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” may sound like a good idea on loop, I think the Klingons had it best: “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

The best way to get back at an ex for breaking your poor little heart is to get strong. What better way to do it than to be inspired by singers who have realized they need their own rules so they can “get over him (or her)” without creating a circumstance that may land you in Small Claims Court?

Here’s a Top 10 to unleash your potential badass.

10. Sorry Not Sorry – Demi Lovato

She says she looks like “revenge” and a “10.” Instead of feeling any kind of sympathy for Mr.Full-of-Regrets, Demi Lovato decides not to take it easy on an ex that truly missed out.

And while the song is profane, there is a lot of good messaging in this song. The most important? Work on yourself so you can stand up straight, look your ex dead in the eye and say, “Baby, I’m sorry.” 

Just know deep down inside you’re not. 

Nope, not sorry at all.

9. New Rules – Dua Lipa

We all need our own set of rules to live by. Dua Lipa has it right: “If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.” So block your ex, move on, and stay the heck away from anyone who doesn’t love you.

We all deserve love and someone who doesn’t love you doesn’t deserve your time.

8. We’re Good – Dua Lipa

It’s Dua again, but this message is also invaluable. She acknowledges she can’t take the silence and would rather be alone. 

And when you’re not meant to be – like sleeping and cocaine – it’s best to say, “We’re good” and walk away.

One of the other things I like about this song is how she tells her ex she won’t begrudge a new love as long as he gives her that mutual respect.  Maintaining respect during a breakup is hard, but you should strive for it in an attempt to walk away with your head held high.

7. Blow Me (One Last Kiss) – P!nk 

When you’re fighting on a regular basis, it’s a case of full-time anxiety. P!nk decides she’s finally had enough and directs her soon-to-be ex to “blow [her] (one last kiss).” P!nk is right, life is way too short to hang on to a relationship that makes you feel like you’re waging war against someone who should love you most.

6. Ain’t It Fun – Paramore

OK, this one is for those of you who think your ex is a narcissist. While you’re working on living your best life, you can watch him/her hit that solid ground of reality when they’re on their own or, at the very least, without having awesome you by their side.

“Don’t go crying to your mama, ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world.”

Ouch.

5. Don’t Start Now – Dua Lipa

This is my favorite Dua Lipa song because she has come into her own in this one. She gives her ex the rules this time: “Don’t show up, don’t come out, don’t start caring about me now.” 

Lest you think she started this way, she was the Dumped in this one when her ex said, “Goodbye.” Rather than let the heartbreak get the best of her, however, she survived him. In fact, “So moved on it’s scary.” That’s my kind of scary!

4. Thank u, next – Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande puts everything out there in this song. There were several loves in her life, but in the end, the love of her life was “Ari.” She says they’re having better discussions – yeah, it’s totally OK to talk to yourself when you’re working through pain, especially if it means talking yourself out of sadness – and thanks them for the lessons she learned from each broken relationship. 

When you can find gratitude in pain, that is amazing, indeed.

3. Irreplaceable – Beyoncé

Queen Bey is in her glory here. Her ex is clearly clueless because not only was he untrue to her, but he also didn’t think he could be replaced. 

Whaaaat? 

But here’s the real jewel in this song: “So since I’m not your everything, how about I’ll be nothing?”

That is how you should prioritize yourself in a relationship. Don’t take less than that. Anything else should be shoved to the left, to the left, in a box to the left.

2. Truth Hurts- Lizzo

As someone who understands how much difference a DNA test can make, when you’re “100% that bitch,” you should not settle for someone who holds you back or treats you like you’re not the main dish. Lizzo, who “puts the sing in single,” laughingly asks, “You tried to break my heart? Oh, that breaks my heart.” 

Yeah, maybe it’s OK to have sympathy for the devil when it comes out like this.

1. Good as Hell – Lizzo

If I could gift my clients with any song, this would be it: “If he don’t love you anymore, just walk your fine ass out the door.” A hair toss, nail check and then an affirmation: Feelin’ good as hell! That’s right: “Gotta take a deep breath, time to focus on you.” And here we are: Full circle. Take that deep, cleaning breath, and focus on you. Start meditating, work out and eat cleanly, and find people who fill your cup. Promise you won’t be sorry (not sorry).